One year ago . . .

One year ago today Jillian was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. At times it doesn’t seem that long, but other times it seems like forever. I don’t know if I’ll ever forget one single second of that day & how scared all of us were. How horrible it was to see our precious, precious girl so limp & lethargic. To see the fear & tears in my child’s eyes. We’ve come such a long, long way since April 22nd, 2008. We’ve learned so much. So much I wish we’d never had to learn, but we have. I think it’s made us stronger as a family & connected us in a way that’s very difficult to describe. Words cannot express how PROUD I am of my family. How very, very much I LOVE my family & how appreciative I am of all the support my family gives to my kids.

I wish I could express how PROUD I am of Tyler & how he has handled all of this. He’s had to take a back seat to his baby sister this past year & he hasn’t resented it for even one single second. He has shown nothing but love & compassion to his baby sister. He shows such care & concern for Jilli. He's protective & so very loving. He's everything a big brother should be & then some! He will never, ever in a million years know how much I adore & love him! How proud he makes all of us & how blessed we are to have him in our world!! Jilli is so fortunate to have YOU as her big brother, Ty!! So, very, very fortunate & lucky!!

And Jillian. Wow! What can I possibly say about our precious Jillian & all that she has endured this past year?? How courageous she is. How she remains so sweet, so loving, so absolutely adorable. How a little piece of my heart breaks every time she pleads for “No ‘jections, Mimi. Pweeeeeeeeeeze!” How a part of me wants to just say, “The heck with it – you got it, Jilli! No injections today!” But, thankfully, another part of me knows that she needs those injections to survive. So, I draw up the insulin & take her precious little arms or thighs in my hands & I inject. Another piece of my heart breaks. Every single time. Then we give each other a great big hug & kiss & go on with our day! A day filled with all the things a typical 2 year old goes through. To a degree. A typical 2 year old doesn’t have to have her blood sugar level checked before each meal & at bedtime. A typical 2 year old doesn’t have to watch every single gram of sugar & every single gram of carbohydrate they put in their body. A typical 2 year old can have cake, ice cream, cookies, juice, snacks of pretty much any kind. Not a 2 year old with Type 1 Diabetes. But our precious Jilli has learned to accept the word “no!” She knows what she can & can’t eat/drink & is wise beyond her years. She’s smart, she’s funny & she’s adjusting to her world the best way she knows how! She’s an inspiration to all of us & we all need to learn from her!I love you, my sweet, precious granddaughter. With every ounce of my being. I'm so proud of you, even though that doesn't seem like a big enough word . . .

I cannot even begin to describe the feelings I have for my daughter & my son (AKA as my son-in-law). What an absolute amazing job they have done with what they, as parents, have been dealt. This isn’t just a matter of the heart – it changed every single aspect of their lives. Physically, mentally, financially. Everything. I know how much their hearts hurt & how brave & strong both of them are. Oh, my children, I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo VERY proud of both of you!!! Jillian is so very lucky & so very blessed to have you as her parents!! I love both of you with all my heart & soul!!

And you know what?? I'm proud of me. I'm deathly afraid of needles. Almost to the point of passing out when I see one. Having to do sugar checks & give injections far exceeds any expectations I had for myself. When Jilli was diagnosed, I knew there was NO POSSIBLE WAY I was ever going to be able to do those 2 things. Especially to my precious, baby granddaughter!! But, here I am a year later drawing insulin, giving sugar checks & giving injections like I've been doing it all my life. I won't lie - it's the most difficult thing I have ever had to do in my life & it hurts my heart every single time, but I do it!! Because I have no choice!! I do it for Jilli. It's not about me & my fears & phobias - it's ALL ABOUT Jilli!!!

So, it’s been year full of tears & of laughter. It’s been a year filled with ups & downs. It’s been a year full of learning & helping, & most of all loving. Loving each other & loving this precious baby girl who God blessed us with.

Thank you, my faithful blog readers, for all the support you have shown this past year. I’m sure I’ll be asking for more throughout this next year & the years to follow. It does my heart good knowing that each of you will be there. Just as I’ll be there for each of you! As always . . . peace & love.